Why not me?
If I’m honest, I can’t fully explain it, but I’ve found myself sabotaging the very things I prayed for, believed God for, and worked so hard to achieve. Now, as some of those long-awaited prayers begin to align and unfold in my life, a part of me struggles to believe it’s real. I’ve been deeply bothered by this. Why not me? Why can’t good things happen to me?
When did this mindset even begin?
From a young age, I’ve always doubted my abilities. I somehow developed the belief that I would never be the best. So instead of aiming for the top, I pushed myself just enough, to make the cut, to secure a good spot, to be "good enough." Sure, if I ever came out on top, I was ecstatic, but deep down I believed I was the underdog.
Looking back, I’d describe myself as a solid B student growing up, not because I lacked the ability to be an A+ student, but because I unknowingly adopted a limiting mindset early on. I didn’t consistently push myself toward excellence, even though I knew I was capable of it. And often, I was excellent, but I chose to settle for average, for comfort, for what felt safe.
I’m not entirely sure when or how those lies first took root in my mind, but they quietly shaped my internal world for years.
Because God is in the business of tearing down lies, he constantly places me in situations where my own strength isn’t enough, situations that force me to rely completely on him and his grace. I believe He does this to remind me of two truths:
I am enough. Not because of my accomplishments or titles, but simply because I am His, and He is mine.
I am brilliant. Wonderfully and uniquely made by God, equipped with talents, skills, and gifts that are from Him, and for His glory.
So, knowing all this… why do I still struggle to believe good things can happen to me? Even when I’ve prayed and trusted God for something, and He answers in His kindness, I sometimes find myself suspicious, looking for the catch. Surely this is too good to be true… right?
The past few years have been a journey of unlearning so many lies I’ve believed about myself and embracing the truth of who God created me to be. I’m deeply grateful for the people in my life who continually challenge me and push me beyond my comfort zone. As frustrating as it can be in the moment, their nudging has stretched my perspective and helped me see beyond the limitations I had placed on myself.
So if you’re someone who’s doubting yourself, questioning your value, or feeling stuck in a cycle of self-sabotage, this is your reminder:
You are enough. You are capable. You have the grace to rise, conquer, and become everything God has called you to be.
God is brilliant. Absolutely amazing. And if we are made in His image, that brilliance lives in us too. Stop second-guessing yourself. Renounce the lies you’ve believed about who you are and start seeing yourself through the lens of who God says you are.
I’ve come to realize that when I drift from meditating on God’s Word and spending intentional time with Him, the old lies start to creep back in. It takes intentionally resting my heart and renewing my mind with Scripture. These are some of my favorite verses to meditate on, until my heart not only remembers them but fully believes them again:
2 Corinthians 12:9 (NIV)
“But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.”
Ephesians 2:10 (AMP)
“For we are His workmanship [His own master work, a work of art], created in Christ Jesus, [born anew] that we may do those good works which God prepared beforehand [for us]—that we should walk in them.”
Philippians 4:13 (NKJV)
“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”
So, consider this your almost mid-year reminder: declutter your heart and mind, realign with truth and find your rhythm again. The best version of you begins with the health of your internal framework.
Blessings always x,
Charisa M